Marrying a Greek
I have a dear friend that is married to a Greek Man. I find her opinions very interesting so I decided to put them on this blog, here is her humble opinions:
"It is not easy. Being married to anyone takes effort, hard work, patience and understanding but being in a close relationship with anyone outside of your own culture is all of this....and some more! I don't know how far my own situation reflects other non-Greek women who have fallen in love and thrown in their lot with their Greek man. The things you fall in love with become the things that, in excess, drive you crazy. Namely, these things in my own particular Greek man are:
1. His dramatic interpretation of things. When things are good, the drama and enthusiasm he displays are infectious and enjoyable. However, when things do not go well in his life, everything is exaggerated and he seems to have little ability to control his mood or see things logically. The high drama of a Greek tragedy is released and things get thrown around and smashed, loved ones are on the receiving end of verbal abuse and it seems all the Gods are converging over his head to bring him misery. Then things get better and it is all forgotten!!!
2. One thing I love about Greece is the strong family relationships but, in my humble opinion, Greek men never leave their mothers. She is always their in the background and he knows that whatever he does she will look after him. My own Greek mother-in-law is a dear soul and has been very supportive of me...but... she never expects her son to lift a finger to help and merely tuts when he creates a mess where she has just cleaned. When we are with her, if I am not picking up after him, tolerating his lack of consideration and generally making myself his dog's body then I am not being a good wife for him. Consequently, Greek men grow up to believe that a woman's place is to cook, clean and take care of the children. When my man is not in Greece he is a completely different person - well almost!
3. One thing I love about my Greek man is his spontaneity and ability to take risks, pick himself up and start from the beginning again when things go wrong. (Bearing in mind that reaching this point means going through the Greek drama outlined in 1 above). However, the downside of this is the too easy availabilty for him to gamble when we are in his home country .
Reading through this, I am not sure if she is perhaps merely talking about all men - not just the Greek ones. I would love to hear other people's opinions on this blog.
In my opinnion ,after all ,there is no Greek Culture without the participation of both sexes. In Greece men and women know how to enjoy themselves, go anywhere in Greece ,especially in the summertime ,and you will see many local festivals happening with everybody joining in.
"It is not easy. Being married to anyone takes effort, hard work, patience and understanding but being in a close relationship with anyone outside of your own culture is all of this....and some more! I don't know how far my own situation reflects other non-Greek women who have fallen in love and thrown in their lot with their Greek man. The things you fall in love with become the things that, in excess, drive you crazy. Namely, these things in my own particular Greek man are:
1. His dramatic interpretation of things. When things are good, the drama and enthusiasm he displays are infectious and enjoyable. However, when things do not go well in his life, everything is exaggerated and he seems to have little ability to control his mood or see things logically. The high drama of a Greek tragedy is released and things get thrown around and smashed, loved ones are on the receiving end of verbal abuse and it seems all the Gods are converging over his head to bring him misery. Then things get better and it is all forgotten!!!
2. One thing I love about Greece is the strong family relationships but, in my humble opinion, Greek men never leave their mothers. She is always their in the background and he knows that whatever he does she will look after him. My own Greek mother-in-law is a dear soul and has been very supportive of me...but... she never expects her son to lift a finger to help and merely tuts when he creates a mess where she has just cleaned. When we are with her, if I am not picking up after him, tolerating his lack of consideration and generally making myself his dog's body then I am not being a good wife for him. Consequently, Greek men grow up to believe that a woman's place is to cook, clean and take care of the children. When my man is not in Greece he is a completely different person - well almost!
3. One thing I love about my Greek man is his spontaneity and ability to take risks, pick himself up and start from the beginning again when things go wrong. (Bearing in mind that reaching this point means going through the Greek drama outlined in 1 above). However, the downside of this is the too easy availabilty for him to gamble when we are in his home country .
Reading through this, I am not sure if she is perhaps merely talking about all men - not just the Greek ones. I would love to hear other people's opinions on this blog.
In my opinnion ,after all ,there is no Greek Culture without the participation of both sexes. In Greece men and women know how to enjoy themselves, go anywhere in Greece ,especially in the summertime ,and you will see many local festivals happening with everybody joining in.
posted by admin at 12:16 PM
13 Comments:
Well I am Greek and I don't believe in stereotypes of the kind "the wife should just only cook " This is simply not the case anymore in Greece and practically is not happening as most of the Greek women do actually work and many are also very successful. On the other hand, I do agree that Greek men live in a circle of drama which occasionally might be tough for those close to them. Yet, being emotionally flat can be so boring!
Well I am Greek and my wife is from Kent... I was reading this blog and laughed a bit, it is so funny and yes not miles away from the truth.
I thought I was the only greek bloke married in UK with a UK lass.
Anyway i forwarded this to my wife, see if she contributes...
I too am married to a Greek and I totally believe that the further away from Greece he is the more housework he is inclined to do.
He's very fond of saying that when he visits home his mother will ask him if he would like a coffee, his sister will say 'I'll make it' and his grandmother will say 'I've already made one' all the space of about 30 seconds.
On the other hand I have made him two coffees in the ten years we have been together...
I appreciate your comments keep on posting :)
As a young Greek man here in NY, I can actually relate to almost everything you post:
-dramatic mood swings and infectuous enthusiasm
-expects to do no cooking/cleaning
-overbearing mother
Of course, I realize that a successful relationship with a non-Greek or Greek-American girl involves plenty of effort, compromise and a shattering of "traditional" norms that followed Greek men for generations.
But it still funny to read this because more-or-less most Greek males are like this.
Well, I live with a Greek man in Athens, and after i read the posts above I wanna say that when we talk about Greek man we have to make a difference between the country and the capital, also to take in ming if the guy spent some time out of Greece, because this is effecting a lot the way he behave. And yeah, a lot of the women here are actually working, but this doesn't mean that the men still don't expect from them to be the housewife..
well to begin with,im an Indian by race and my husband to be is a Greek man.i was just curious and wanting to know more about it and tht's how im here..its true he have very great bond between him and his mum.on the other hand,im very close to his mum and she too loves me as her own.to be honest,perhaps the family i met is indeed a special one with so much love and i feel gifted and hope it lasts for eternity.thanks for the info atleast i can be aware what's happening..hehe
Just a quick note. i'm an Indian-Australian Male and I am now living in the UK. I am involved with a Greek woman at the moment and want to marry her.
Things are quite hard. My lady is a woman in her early Thirties. Beautiful, Fantastic, and everything i want in a partner. She currently lives in greece (will be moving back to London in a few months).
The problem is that her mother thoroughly and completely disapproves of me. Even though she's never met me. I'm not Greek. I'm not Greek Othodox and I am most definetly not right for her daughter. This is causing a lot of tension for us. She wants to have her mothers approval and she wants to be with me. We have discussed marriage and we know we can find a way to make it work.
Does anyone here have any ideas on how to get around this scenario? I'll take any help I can get. I'm sure many of you will have gone through this. I would also like some input from the indian lady with the greek gentleman as well (as we may come from similar backs grounds) but general help would be more than appreciated.
Any greeks on this board could help then that would be great too.
Much appreciated.
I am an American woman who is engaged to a Greek man. Granted, he did grow up in the States- he remains Greek to his core. I found this site after "Googling" about the common concerns in a bi-cultural marriage. We are having trouble with our ability to compromise. He feels everything he knows and has been taught is correct while I on the other hand feel everything I know and have been taught is interesting and appreciated, but keep an open mind. We bicker and fight about issues that I don't feel are big and he feels are huge. Things like my going out alone with girlfriends, his jealousy, being married in the Orthodox church without any consideration to my religion, naming our first child after his father etc.
I am not sure how to handle this greek man and his stubbornness. I chalk it up to him being "Greek" but I am beginning to think it's a bit of an easy out.
Any thoughts?
If we are talking in stereotypes here (LOL), I was born and raised a Southern Belle to the core. My husband is Greek to the core. Those two cultures may seem worlds apart to the outsider, but actually, I was very pleased to realize how similar they are. Because he is Greek, and loves his mother, he understands that my Daddy is my hero. Family, hearth and home are important in both cultures. Big family dinners, a flair for the dramatic and holding fast to tradition.....all these things are common to both cultures. It has been very interesting to me to embrace his culture. I converted to Greek Orthodox without any hesitation (I was Baptist), and am getting better all the time with speaking Greek. In turn, he has embraced some of the Southern traditions I hold close to my heart. It has been easier than I thought, to be honest...but only because my grandmother told me from the time I was little girl that when you get married you make your husband top priority and vice versa. I love him, and am only interested in creating a wonderful life with him. I trust him to take care of me and he is a great husband and father. I don't demand a lot of the "equal rights" for women stuff, because we Southern Belle's are strong enough to take care of ourselves, but feminine enough to enjoy letting a man have the task. My husband is a very kind, passionate man, and the love of my life. I can't imagine life without him....OPA!
My roots are multi-cultural: Spanish-German-Filipino but I have spent most of my adult life in the U.S.; my husband is an authentic Greek (born and spent most of his adult life in Greece). Reading all the former comments, I think that regardless of one´s cultural background and experience, if two people who truly love each other enough are able to consider marriage, then all the personality quirks go out the window. After 25years together, we have managed to assimilate 5 cultural experiences/upbringing/experiences and could not envision life without each other. Life can be a wonderful journey if we get can over the silly stuff and focus on really important valuable things.
I am writing a book about two women- one is married to a Jew and one is married to a Greek. Both women have converted to their husband's faith. I have the Jewish stuff down, but want to learn more about what it is like to be married to a Greek. What are the challenges? What are the joys? If you are willing, I would love to hear your views. Thanks.
Hi!
After reading all this i feel that many of you are very pessimistic as persons.
I am a girl from Norway.For 2 years ago i met the most fantastic person in the world till now in my world-he is greek. I could never imagine that a made could have so good maners and that he really believe in love and put 5 thing high above: Love-respect-honesty-faith and believe.
He is conservative,but i have never met a man who is so easy to know.when he is angry he shows that,if he is sad he shows that and if he is happy he shows that.And he always sais what he means.Of course you dont have to be greek to be like that.You find different people all over the world.I mean that people must be people even though they are greek,english,norwegian og any.If 2 people really love each other there is no big distances.And challenges there are always when there is people.It depends on the personality and the chemistry-not the country.....I would love to hear more on this discussion...Love from a nice Norway girl 34 years old...Maybe soon married to a greek doctor who i adore.and he adore me....xxx
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